Monday, April 21, 2008

Top 10 geek chicks and rant about valentines

I hate valentine’s. I fiercely abhor this atrocious occasion deliberately fashioned to annoy me. If anyone wants to start a petition to get rid of the occasion, let me know so I may sign with unimpeachable enthusiasm. I fervently wish that this evil occasion would be banned but I’m just a single guy, who enjoys long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. What can I do?
Anyone can get a partner if he/she would lower his/her standards enough. Just pass by recto and you’ll find more than a few ladies who are willing to sell their souls for 50 pesos. But lower my standards is something that I wouldn’t do. 3000 peso escorts are the bare minimum for me.
…That, ladies, was of course a joke. I do not patronize prostitution in any way. What I actually meant was, I am a geek and while we geeks don’t mind having a hot airhead bimbo tagging along with us for a few days, what we really fancy are geek chicks. Chicks who have considerable brain mass. Chicks who have hobbies, whether that be gaming, sci-fi, science, gadgets etc. But alas they’re quite hard to find
I’ve given you a lot of tips in the past and I’d love to give you tips on how to date geek chicks but unfortunately, my geeky brethren, I can’t… because I’m just as clueless as you. What I could do though is enumerate my top 8 geek chicks and post pics of them for your viewing enjoyment.

You might wonder why 8 and not a more conventional number like 5 or 10. Because , my dear reader, I am a rebel and I do not follow conventions.
Also, I know a few geek chicks who are a lot more awesome than the geek chicks in this list but we’ll only be limiting ourselves to celebrity geek chicks for this list. Without further ado, here are my top 8 (pictures above, description below)

olivia munn
olivia munn princess leia slave girl costume

Olivia Munn: This half Chinese half Caucasian lady is one reason why I didn’t mourn jacktv’s demise for too long. Maxx has a lot of crappy shows and I profusely lament the fact that I don’t get to see stewey of family guy anymore. But “attack of the show” alone more than makes up for the deficit-It deeply arouses the geek in me, especially whenever Miss Olivia munn graces the screen. The first time I heard her crack a joke, I said: “that joke didn’t have the remotest semblance of sense. awww”. Who cares if her jokes fail 90% of the time. Her cuteness is so sublime that every failed joke actually makes her more adorable. And just check out the picture above, in which she’s clad in princess leia’s slave girl outfit. Geekgasmotronicalistic!!!

kari byron FHM

Kari Byron: Can you actually name a guy geek who doesn’t dream about seeing kari of the mythbusters naked? Geeks in various forums profess their undying love for this red haired femme fatal in ever more immodest ways. Miss Byron has so many rabid fans, I’m puzzled why the producers of the show haven’t yet come up with episodes that would utilize her fame more effectively. They could do an episode wherein Kari would personally test the validity of the “it-is-dangerous to-run-on-the-beach-while wearing-skimpy-underwear” myth or better yet, the infamous “doing jumping-jacks-naked-will-make-your-boobies-bounce-more” myth… for the education of her male geek fans of course.

iya yotoko
Iya Yotoko: Is she half Japanese? I don’t know but if she is, that might explain why she’s so kawaii. Miss yotoko seems like she’s always high on sugar and her face animates like a Disney cartoon. Who would think that she’s married, has a kid and is over 30 ( I think). The ever bubbly Miss yotoko was the host of the now defunct show, digital tour. It was, at the time, one of the very few local shows that catered to geeks. I watched the show regularly til that bald guy, who was the very antithesis of geeky, spoiled it. I bet his pc has an onboard GPU and isn’t even overclocked. Whatta nongeeky

Katers17: I’m lazy so I’ll just copy-paste this from one of my previous entries: “She’s cute, she’s a geek, she’s a gamer, she’s a gamer, she’s a gamer, she has a good sense of humor and most important of all, she’s british. That’s important coz I fancy myself a british gentleman. I’d speak everyday with a british accent if I could get away with it”

Dil demonique: atheist, science geek, artist, market anarchist, ayn rand fan, philosophy student… oops I just came. Intellectual girls who wear glasses and speak in geek jargon are teh hott.

kristin holt

Kristin holt: Kristin Holt is the host of g4’s cheat. I’m not a big fan of the show since I never cheat in games. If I ever do watch the show, it’s only with the intention of gazing upon Miss Holt’s magnetic charms.

morgan webb

Morgan webb. Unlike some of the other female g4tv hosts, you can tell that she’s actually a gamer and she actually knows what she’s talking about. She also appears to be more endowed in the boobies department compared to other g4tv hosts.

grace park

Grace park: She’s here not so much because of her geekiness but more so because she’s a geek icon. Grace park plays the humanoid robot, Sharon Valerie and 5 iterations of “number 8” in battlestar galactica. She also appeared in command and conquer 3 as Lt. Sandra Telfair. Battlestar galactica is like more awesome than star trek voyager, DS9 and TNG combined.. you can also throw in babylon5 in the mix but it won’t make much of a difference since it’s a pretty crappy show. Here’s a confession. I have asian fetish. I also have robot fetish so miss park is like custom built to satisfy my geek sensibilities.

This article was originally posted on my other blog: Infidel boy in blabber mode

Technorati tagsolivia munn kari+byron iya yotoko Katers17 morgan webb dil demonique kristin holt grace park top 10 geek+chicks


Ade said...

I have the hots for Grace Park. that is all.

jaywalker said...

Grace park is a geek goddess

Anonymous said...

you jack ass olivia munn isnt chineese shes japaneese and thats not even morgan webb in that picture under her name and little ( probbaly wrong) bio you suck fat nuts faggot get your shit right you sterotyping asshole go ahead pussies troll me for typos but i know i am right and this persons page is an epic fail you fuck tards

jaywalker said...

Easy on the caffeine, good sir. You don't wanna pop a vein do you?

I based the info on a couple of sources, including olivia’s wikipedia page which (then) stated that her mother was of Chinese descent. But given your impeccable vocabulary, I’m guessing that you’re probably highly educated and therefore an authority on subjects concerning the ancestry of celebrities. So you’re probably right on this

But I’m going to keep the article as it is so the general public can know how much of a faggot-pussy I really am, how much of an epic fail this page really is… and so that people would know that you pwnd me

Oh and Morgan Webb’s picture is supposed to be above her name. The girl below is Grace park… but I’m sure you know that already. You’re just playing tricks on me arentcha? You don’t play tricks on people who are intellectually inferior to you sir. That’s just mean!

Anonymous said...

How about maria ozawa? She's a geek chick porn star.