Manly stuff in general

My photoshoot with Myca

2008-07-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

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It’s been a while since I last updated this blog. Amazingly I still get 100-200 hits a day. I actually have 7 almost finished articles waiting to be published. I just lack the attention span to actually finish them…

While I finish those articles, let me first share with you some pics from my recent photoshoot with the lovely “Myca”

This is my 1^st studio shoot and my first time to work with a model. Modesty be damned, I’d have to say I’m extremely pleased with the results, especially for the first set.

Equipment: canon 350D 18-55mm lens, canon 75-300mm
Location: DPI photostudio
Model: myca http://mindpolluter.multiply.com

For the first set of pics, I aimed for a more artistic look. Very little post processing was done save for some minor tweaks in brightness and contrast. You can view the rest of the pics from this set here

2^nd set: Multiple light sources and a white background. You can view the rest of the pics from this set here

3^rd set: We tried to go for a men’s-magazine-ish look. I’m not sure if I’m ecstatic about the lighting, the two toned background and the round thing behind the couch but the model looks great in these pics so I decided to publish them anyway.

Myca will be featured in slitzmag's september issue so watch out for that

Comments are moderated. Only compliments using superlative adjectives towards the model and the photographer will be approved =)

tags: 1st studio shoot, model, hot, glamour photography,

Retarded Video

2008-06-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a month since i last updated this blog. What do most bloggers do when they can't think of anything to blog about? They post youtube videos of course. Unlike most other other bloggers though, the videos that i post are ones that i made myself.

I made this video 5 months ago for reasons that are still unknown to me. I have absolutely no idea why i made this video so don't ask me. I know it's not immediately apparent at first but It's supposed to be a parody of romeo and juliet. There was no attempt at making a coherent script so don't expect it to make sense

This video is so badly made and so non-sensical that you'll automatically lose 30 IQ points after watching this. Don't say you were not warned!!

Top 10 Best story driven PC Games ever

2008-05-13T01:12:00.000-07:00

Most games nowadays concentrate more on delivering bleeding edge graphics or highly realistic physics. They usually stick to tried and tested formulas when it comes to gameplay and storylines. Which is sad since it’s usually the latter factors that make a game memorable. When done right, games can be a more engaging storytelling medium than movies.

I suck at intros, no? Without further blabbering, here are my top 10 best story driven games ever.

10.) Max Payne 2 (3rd person shooter, date of release: 2001):

Most of max payne’s narrative is delivered through prose written by Sam lake which gives it a poetic flavor that is usually lacking in most games. Max payne 2 is marketed as a tragic film noire love story. It’s dark, it’s violent …and it’s sexy. Mona sax is, bar none, the hottest girl i've had the pleasure of controlling. Instead of hand sculpting the 3d models, they actually scanned the bodies of real life actors making the models anatomically accurate down to the areolas. Of course you’d have to know the “nude mona” cheat to appreciate 3d mona in her full glory

Also, the PC version has the best graphics. So if you have a geforce 5xxx series or above video card, get the PC version.

Of course the first thing you’d notice in this picture are the perfectly modeled collar bones

9.) Baldur’s gate 2: (RPG, date of release: 2000) Mix “dungeons and dragons” gameplay with an epic story that’s reminiscent of lord of the rings and you’ve got a concoction that’s certain to make the head of any geek explode. It’s 200+ hour length maybe a bit daunting for normal people but this game was made for geeks and geeks aren’t normal people. 200 hours are inconsequential for a guy who spends 18 hours a day in front of his pc. I actually played all the way through it and I clocked more than 200 hours –A fact that I hope doesn’t suggest anything about the quality of my life

What mostly drives the story in BG2 is the main character’s interaction with his companions. You travel with a party of 5. Each party member has his/her own personality, backstory and sidequests. They’d flirt with you, fight with each other or even sleep with you. You must choose how to interact with your companions carefully though as your relationships with them affect gameplay. I tear up whenever I recall how aerie left me when I decided to rob her of her virginity

7.) Planescape torment (RPG, date of release: 1999): Torment is a 2d RPG set in the obscure dungeons and dragons planescape setting using AD&D 2nd edition rules. If that sounded like jargon to you then you probably are cool and have lots of friends. I therefore I hate you

It’s like baldur’s gate in terms of gameplay, graphics and geekiness quotient but torment has a more tightly woven story. You play the “nameless one”. You wake up in a mortuary without any recollection of your past. As the game progresses, you find out that you are actually immortal. You don’t die, you just lose all your memories. Some of the best twists in the story involve finding out what your past incarnations were like and what they’ve done.

The story is deep, complex and philosophical. The riddle at the core of the game is “what can change the nature of a man”. It’s up to the player to decide how he’s going to solve that riddle by the choices that he makes in the game

This game is a cult classic. Some copies are selling on ebay for $130. Not bad considering that this game was released 9 years ago

8.) Silent hill 2 (survival horror, date of release: 2002): Think resident evil, only more mature and the focus is less on action and more on atmosphere.

Ghost stories don’t scare me anymore. The only horror genre that works for me is psychological horror. What I love about the silent hill series is that the stories are mostly figurative. You can interpret the game’s symbolisms in a variety of ways. One could interpret the ghastly apparitions in the game to be of psychological or supernatural nature. The best in the series so far is silent hill 2. Not because it’s scary, though it is that too, but because it tells an engaging personal story that has a really interesting twist at the end.

THe infamous scene where pyramid head rapes a mannequin. One of the most disturbing scenes in any game ever

6.) Star wars: Knights of the old republic (RPG; date of release: 2003): Knights of the old republic is an RPG developed by bioware and shares a lot of similarities with other games developed by bioware like baldur’s gate. The story takes place 4000 years before episode IV. Like baldur’s gate 2, a lot of the game’s appeal comes from your interaction with your companions.

5.) Metal gear solid(action/adventure, date of release: 2000): Some may consider metal gear solid’s story to be a bit too melodramatic and the script to be a bit too mushy and overbearing. But despite these unmanly factors, I actually loved the game. It appeals to my sensitive side. The side of me that liked my sassy girl and titanic also loves MGS1.

4.) Grim fandango (adventure, date of release: 1998): I’m getting tired of writing now so I’ll make this short and sweet. Grim fandango is an endearing piece of interactive art. The unique visuals, the intriguing story, the sense of humor and the endearing characters make this one memorable gem of a game.

3.) Gabriel knight 3 (adventure, date of release: 1999): Jesus Christ is in this game. But that didn’t stop me, a hardcore atheist, from loving it. Jane Jensen is a master at interactive storytelling. The pacing is good, the plot twists are right where they should be and the character development is first rate.

2.) Deus Ex (RPG/FPS, date of release: 2000): One of the most immersive games I’ve ever played.
Some RPGs give you too much freedom at the expense of narrative. Some RPGs sacrifice freedom for narrative making the game feel too linear What makes deus ex’s narrative especially engrossing is that it gives the player the illusion of freedom without actually giving him too much freedom. The game gives you a lot of choices. From minor ones like whether you should you enter the women’s lavatory or not to more major ones like whether you should kill the leader of a major terrorist organization or not. The game makes you feel like your choices matter. Almost every choice has an effect on the game but it never affects it so much that it would affect the coherence of the story. Until you replay the game, you wouldn’t know that the story is actually quite linear. And you’d be surprised because it doesn’t feel linear at all.

1.) The longest journey (adventure, date of release: 1999): good stories get you interested. Great stories get you emotionally involved. Getting to the end of TLJ is like like getting to the last page of a really good book. You just don’t want it to end because you’ve gotten attached to the characters already.

tags: top 10 story driven games max payne 2 deus ex the longest journey grim fandango baldur's gate planescape torment knights of the old republic metal gear solid silent hill 2

Be a gadget freak without losing money

2008-04-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

tags: gadgets, guide, tips, gadget freak's, secret
This entry is truncated. click the "read more" link below to read the entire article

Scan this article from top to bottom. Check out the pictures. Yep all those gadgets are mine or were once mine. Profusely excessive you might say. I would disagree. I spend a lot on gadgets but I’m not actually losing money. In fact it’s quite the opposite.
Here are some basic things that you should know about so you can get all the gadgets you without losing a lot of cash. The basic principle here is to try to keep the monetary value of all your gadgets, more or less, at a constant. Let’s say you have 200k worth of gadgets right now. If you keep those gadgets for 3 years, the value might go down to 80k or maybe even lower. But if instead of keeping them for that length of time, you convert them to cash before they depreciate and then convert the cash to gadgets again, you’ll always have close to 200k worth of items without infusing extra cash.

Read and learn…

Brand new and 2nd hand value: The price difference between brand new and 2nd hand units for certain items like ipods, can be relatively small. (There was a time when brand new ipod videos sold for 11500 and 2nd hand units sold for just 10k) while it can be pretty significant for certain items like minidv camcorders. As soon as it leaves the electronics shop, the minidv camcorder that you bought for 25k will only be worth 11k. Keep in mind that the instant you buy a gadget, it’s a already 2nd hand. So the value of that camcorder that you just bought isn’t 25k. It’s 11k. When computing the value of your gadgets, always use their 2nd hand value. Buying brand new always entails instant loss of value and this is not good if you’re trying to keep the monetary value of your gadgets at a constant. When deciding whether to get brand new or 2nd hand, ask yourself what you’re paying extra for and if it’s worth it

Depreciation rate: Most electronic gadgets tend to be sold at a huge premium when they’re first released. Prices would usually fall sharply after a few months as supply meets demand and as the hype dwindles. It would stabilize after a certain point and won’t drop significantly again ‘til an updated model gets released. Introduction of new models, either from the same manufacturer or from competing brands will likely trigger significant price drops. If you familiarize yourself with the release dates of new models and the depreciation rate of a particular item, you can work out a strategy on when to buy and when to sell. It’s best to buy when the price plateaus and it’s best to sell before the next significant price drop

Depreciation threshold: There’s a certain point at which some gadgets, more or less, stop depreciating. For the last few years, the depreciation threshold for minidv camcorders has been at around 8-10k; for branded digital cameras, it’s at around 4k, around 6k for slim digicams; for entry level digital SLR cameras, it’s around 17-20k.
If you buy a 2nd hand DSLR camera worth 20k, you won’t have to worry that it’ll lose 50% of its value within the next few years. You can keep your dslr for 3 years and it’s unlikely that price will go much lower than 16k. it definitely won’t depreciate to the point where it’s about the same price as a regular point and shoot camera or a regular prosumer camera. If you don’t plan to buy and resell your items too often, it’s best to buy items that are near the depreciation threshold already. Of course this threshold won’t remain constant forever but prices rarely drop sharply after they’ve hit the threshold

Not all electronic gadgets have a Depreciation threshold. Most Celphones will continue to depreciate ‘til they’re worth practically nothing. In markets where technology evolves very fast and new models get released very quickly, prices drop like rocks.
Video cards are some of the fastest depreciating items you can buy. In a period of 2 years, the price of a video card could drop from 30k to 5k -It’s a bottomless pit so it’s highly inadvisable to hold on to such items for a long time.
Brand new or 2nd hand
If you’re buying brand new gadgets, what you’re mostly paying for is the warranty. Most electronic gadgets have very few mechanical parts and therefore they don’t wear down as predictably as cars or powertools do. there’s no guarantee that a brand new ipod will last longer than one that’s been used for a year already. It could last for 20 years or just 2. There’s just no way of knowing. Also, warranties for most gadgets is only 1yr and that usually doesn’t cover physical damages caused by mishandling. Few electronic gadgets fail in that time period so 1yr warranties are practically useless in my opinion. Additionally, the price difference between brand new and 2nd hand units for certain items can be so great that it could cover the price of any major repair 3 times over. Always weigh what advantages you’ll get and whether those advantages are worth the price difference or not
To minimize the amount of money you’ll lose, you’ll have to buy your gadgets 2nd hand. If you plan to follow my strategy, you shouldn’t be keeping any gadget for more than a year anyway so longevity shouldn’t be too much of an issue.
Buying 2nd hand: Buying 2nd hand units always entails a certain amount of risk but if you know what to watch out for, you can minimize the risk to an acceptable level. Most trading sites have a feedback system in which you could check the past deals of every member and how they all went. Always check the ratings of a seller first. ]The best forms of transactions are those where you get to meet the seller and personally test the unit. Safest mode of payment is through bank account since it’s traceable.
Whenever I do long distance transactions where I don’t get to actually see the unit, I do a background check on the seller. I’d ask for personal details. his blog url, friendster profile etc (ask him to send you a message through friendster to confirm that it really is his profile), I’d try to converse with him and check if there are inconsistencies. Weigh what he has to lose and what he has to gain by duping you. Detecting scammers requires experience and involves a lot of gut feel. I strongly suggest that you don’t do long distance transactions until you’ve gained enough experience already.

These are just general pointers. There is no universal formula that you can use for all gadgets. The key to being a successful gadget freak is knowing the product and the market. Do research. Check out trading sites like ebay or bidshot. Always be updated on the prices of items.

Once you get the hang of it, you may find yourself buying expensive stuff on a whim, stuff that you don’t really need or may not even actually want that badly… Once you’ve mastered the art of being a successful gadget freak, life becomes a lot more interesting.
Expect more detailed guides for specific gadgets from me in the future.

FHM mossimo event

2008-04-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

Another set of pics. I’ll try to post an actual article next time. I’m writing an article about how to be a gadget freak like me without losing tons of money, an article on the top 10 story driven PC games. Plus the type of witty verbose articles that you can only expect from me. Expect those within the next few days. Subscribe to my feeds to be updated.

In the meantime, here are some pics from the FHM mossimo event 2 nights ago

Type your summary here

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Tsikot transhow 2008 boothbabes

2008-04-21T05:05:00.000-07:00

tags: tsikot transport show 2008 megamall models boothbabes

Interesting fact: Jaywalker is a photography hobbyist

For you connoisseurs of beauty out there , here are some pics I took from the recently concluded tsikot transport show at SM megamall.

Asking hot women to pose for you is not a task that your average man-geek with anxiety issues can do very easily, especially if those girls are 5’10, exotic, European mestizas. It was awkward at first but after the first 2 tries, I felt like a natural. The ladies were very approachable and they’d be more than willing to pose for you if you ask nicely

Most of the models were top of the line. If you’ve attended car shows in the past, you’d recognize a lot of them. I failed to take a picture of the infamous “megan” (I didn’t know she was famous then so I skipped her.

…I blabber. Very unmanly. Without further ado, here are the pics

Male linggo 101: difference between "cute" and "hot"

cute

...Hott

Check out my multiply for more pics Click here

Top 10 geek chicks and rant about valentines

2008-04-21T04:47:00.001-07:00

I hate valentine’s. I fiercely abhor this atrocious occasion deliberately fashioned to annoy me. If anyone wants to start a petition to get rid of the occasion, let me know so I may sign with unimpeachable enthusiasm. I fervently wish that this evil occasion would be banned but I’m just a single guy, who enjoys long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. What can I do?
Anyone can get a partner if he/she would lower his/her standards enough. Just pass by recto and you’ll find more than a few ladies who are willing to sell their souls for 50 pesos. But lower my standards is something that I wouldn’t do. 3000 peso escorts are the bare minimum for me.
…That, ladies, was of course a joke. I do not patronize prostitution in any way. What I actually meant was, I am a geek and while we geeks don’t mind having a hot airhead bimbo tagging along with us for a few days, what we really fancy are geek chicks. Chicks who have considerable brain mass. Chicks who have hobbies, whether that be gaming, sci-fi, science, gadgets etc. But alas they’re quite hard to find
I’ve given you a lot of tips in the past and I’d love to give you tips on how to date geek chicks but unfortunately, my geeky brethren, I can’t… because I’m just as clueless as you. What I could do though is enumerate my top 8 geek chicks and post pics of them for your viewing enjoyment.

You might wonder why 8 and not a more conventional number like 5 or 10. Because , my dear reader, I am a rebel and I do not follow conventions.
Also, I know a few geek chicks who are a lot more awesome than the geek chicks in this list but we’ll only be limiting ourselves to celebrity geek chicks for this list. Without further ado, here are my top 8 (pictures above, description below)

Olivia Munn: This half Chinese half Caucasian lady is one reason why I didn’t mourn jacktv’s demise for too long. Maxx has a lot of crappy shows and I profusely lament the fact that I don’t get to see stewey of family guy anymore. But “attack of the show” alone more than makes up for the deficit-It deeply arouses the geek in me, especially whenever Miss Olivia munn graces the screen. The first time I heard her crack a joke, I said: “that joke didn’t have the remotest semblance of sense. awww”. Who cares if her jokes fail 90% of the time. Her cuteness is so sublime that every failed joke actually makes her more adorable. And just check out the picture above, in which she’s clad in princess leia’s slave girl outfit. Geekgasmotronicalistic!!!

Kari Byron: Can you actually name a guy geek who doesn’t dream about seeing kari of the mythbusters naked? Geeks in various forums profess their undying love for this red haired femme fatal in ever more immodest ways. Miss Byron has so many rabid fans, I’m puzzled why the producers of the show haven’t yet come up with episodes that would utilize her fame more effectively. They could do an episode wherein Kari would personally test the validity of the “it-is-dangerous to-run-on-the-beach-while wearing-skimpy-underwear” myth or better yet, the infamous “doing jumping-jacks-naked-will-make-your-boobies-bounce-more” myth… for the education of her male geek fans of course.

Iya Yotoko: Is she half Japanese? I don’t know but if she is, that might explain why she’s so kawaii. Miss yotoko seems like she’s always high on sugar and her face animates like a Disney cartoon. Who would think that she’s married, has a kid and is over 30 ( I think). The ever bubbly Miss yotoko was the host of the now defunct show, digital tour. It was, at the time, one of the very few local shows that catered to geeks. I watched the show regularly til that bald guy, who was the very antithesis of geeky, spoiled it. I bet his pc has an onboard GPU and isn’t even overclocked. Whatta nongeeky

Katers17: I’m lazy so I’ll just copy-paste this from one of my previous entries: “She’s cute, she’s a geek, she’s a gamer, she’s a gamer, she’s a gamer, she has a good sense of humor and most important of all, she’s british. That’s important coz I fancy myself a british gentleman. I’d speak everyday with a british accent if I could get away with it”

Dil demonique: atheist, science geek, artist, market anarchist, ayn rand fan, philosophy student… oops I just came. Intellectual girls who wear glasses and speak in geek jargon are teh hott.

Kristin holt: Kristin Holt is the host of g4’s cheat. I’m not a big fan of the show since I never cheat in games. If I ever do watch the show, it’s only with the intention of gazing upon Miss Holt’s magnetic charms.

Morgan webb. Unlike some of the other female g4tv hosts, you can tell that she’s actually a gamer and she actually knows what she’s talking about. She also appears to be more endowed in the boobies department compared to other g4tv hosts.

Grace park: She’s here not so much because of her geekiness but more so because she’s a geek icon. Grace park plays the humanoid robot, Sharon Valerie and 5 iterations of “number 8” in battlestar galactica. She also appeared in command and conquer 3 as Lt. Sandra Telfair. Battlestar galactica is like more awesome than star trek voyager, DS9 and TNG combined.. you can also throw in babylon5 in the mix but it won’t make much of a difference since it’s a pretty crappy show. Here’s a confession. I have asian fetish. I also have robot fetish so miss park is like custom built to satisfy my geek sensibilities.

This article was originally posted on my other blog: Infidel boy in blabber mode

Technorati tagsolivia munn kari+byron iya yotoko Katers17 morgan webb dil demonique kristin holt grace park top 10 geek+chicks

The november 29 coup

2008-04-21T04:45:00.000-07:00

I turned the TV on yesterday with the intention of watching some intellectually stimulating shows from JackTV. Instead, I was treated to one of the more entertaining live local news coverage I had seen in a while.

Senator Trillanes walked out of a court hearing, traversed the streets of makati with a bunch of armed men. They marched towards the manila peninsula hotel, commandeered it and called for the people to join them in overthrowing the arroyo administration. The military and the police gave them a deadline to surrender. The deadline came and passed. Swarms of troops started storming the hotel. Gunshots were heard. A tank crashed through the front door of the hotel.
Senator Trillanes seemed really determined so I was expecting it to end in bloodshed. I was sure people were going to be googling pictures of Trillanes’ corpse later in the day But alas, Trillanes and company gave up with hardly a fight

Much to the dismay of the Media personnel who were caught inside the hotel at the time of the incident, they were tied up, rounded up like cattle and forced to ride non-airconditioned buses (the horror) to bicutan, in which they were detained. They were understandably outraged (airconditioned buses would’ve been a more humane option) However, this is a very good tactical move for the military for magdalo soldiers have a reputation of being exceptionally good at subterfuge. A number of them could’ve easily blended in with the media. The magdalo soldier’s proficiency in disguise is displayed in the picture below in which, if one would look very closely, a magdalo soldier can be seen inconspicuously disguised as a Rastafarian “MAWN”. He doesn’t stand out at all.

Senator Trillanes is a very colorful character with very lofty goals and very creative/dramatic methods of bringing them to fruition
He believes that toppling the current government would solve the problems of the Philippines. What a non-simplistic worldview. This goes with the “let’s-give-money-to-the-poor” ideology as guaranteed ways of permanently eradicating poverty in the Philippines. He doesn’t share with us his alternative solution because he knows that the Filipino masses want to use their brains. He intends to make us use our brains by making us guess what his plans are.

Senator Trillanes used a lot of fighting words. He said he was ready to die. He said he wasn’t going to back down. His confidence and charisma were so intense, hypnotic and overflowing that he was able to convince elderly civilians, family men with a lot at stake, to embark on a perilous, military crusade with just a handful of armed soldiers with them.

Guingona not yet dead, just dazed by trillanes’ hypnotic charisma

When the tank came crashing through the door though, he gave up almost instantaneously without resistance. But this wasn’t an act of cowardice. This was a selfless act of genuine heroism for he really wanted to save the civilians who were with him. The same civilians whom he kept from leaving the hotel when the bullets started flying

Unwritten man codes: A discourse on the masturbation argument, merosexuality and other stuff men should know about

2008-04-21T04:44:00.000-07:00

I’ve been a little too serious and goody-two-shoes-y the past few months so I’ve decided to be a bit crass again. My latest vids may have given you the impression that I’m a boy when in fact, I’m a man… a very manly man. I pick at least 20 fights a day and I always break the other guy’s nose… or skull... and ego, most definitely

Since I don’t wanna offend certain groups of people …too much, I would first like to say that I have nothing against gay people. I totally respect them unless they’re begging to be disrespected. However if you prefer to call yourself a straight guy, you have to follow certain protocols lest be labeled a poser. The man-race is an exclusive club in which only strict followers of its rules may apply

A few rules/protocols and terms that every man should know:

The masturbation argument
This is the most sacred of manly protocols. Most men know this innately. However, those of us who weren’t schooled properly in the art of manliness may still disgracefully ask the question “what is the masturbation argument”.

According to manly protocol, if ever a man should ask you that question, you may be allowed to ask questions about his sexual preference or the size of his member. Also, you may be allowed to kick him in the balls for he is a disgrace to the sacred man race.

So what is the masturbation argument? …A man may touch himself in a sexual manner and he will not be considered a traitor to the man race. Should a man be gifted with the flexibility and the dimensions to satisfy himself through oral means, he will not be considered a traitor to the sacred man race. And should a man be attracted to himself, he will also not be considered a traitor to the man race. In summary, the only man who may be allowed to be attracted to himself or touch himself in a sexual manner is himself. Once this rule is violated, a most distasteful and revolting act will have been committed and the offenders will be irrevocably excluded from the exclusive man club.

A most distasteful violation of the masturbation argument

Metrosexuality:

A man may be allowed to pamper himself to a certain degree. He may be allowed to use hair products to a certain extent, he may be allowed to use artificial odor enhancers to a certain extent, he may be allowed to occasionally shop for expensive clothes to a certain extent… key words are “To. A. Certain. Extent”. Too much “fashion sense” for a guy is never a good thing. When a guy starts wearing make up and powder, when he starts spending hours and hours in front of the mirror prepping himself up; and when his clothing starts to remind you of a peacock, he has definitely crossed the border

On sitting or standing next to each other:

when two men are sitting or standing next to each other, they should always be aware of their proximity to each other. There should always be space between them. This rule should be followed more strictly if you are not in a large group and you only have each other for company. This knowledge should be innate in most men, however there are men that for some reason unknowingly violate this unwritten protocol, in public, offending the sensibilities of properly raised men around them. Two men sitting next to each other like cute little love birds perched on a branch is not a very pretty sight as is exemplified by the picture below

On touching another guy:

A straight man should never touch another guy gently. If he must make physical contact with another guy, there must be force. He may give the other guy a powerful slap on the back or a fist to one of his shoulders. Punch him in the abdomen or chest area.

On speaking:

When speaking, a man must always exude masculinity. This is something I recorded a long time ago but just to demonstrate to you, my curious reader, what a real man should sound like...

Test your Gaydar:
Now that I’ve educated you, we will now test your gaydar to determine if you are aware of other unwritten manly protocols. Look at the picture below

If your gaydar is working properly, you don’t have to examine this picture too closely to know that this guy doesn’t belong in the club. Let us examine a few of his violations.

1.) Skinny tee with a picture of mighty mouse: when wearing shirts, save people the discomfort of seeing your nipples. Also, if you have to wear shirts with cartoony pictures, make sure it’s not in public
2.) Overly eager face with eyes and mouth wide open: Frequent violators of the unwritten man code have this common facial expression that seems to say: “i wanna put something big in my mouth” If you wanna belong to the club, avoid making this facial expression
3.)Can you name some of his other violations? Post your comments

Of dignity and men

2008-04-21T04:41:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing that a self respecting, properly bred man should hold on to to the utmost of his ability, it’s his dignity. It’s the invisible currency by which men judge each others’ worth. Some men naturally have more dignity than others. Some don’t have any at all to speak of. Dignity is a commodity that may be lost or gained in a lot of ways

A man may gain dignity by shrewdly asserting his superiority over other men, preferably in public. He may also gain dignity by acquiring a superior specimen of the female species and then brandishing her about to his friends. A man would most definitely gain dignity by acquiring an expensive car, preferably a convertible where his female could be displayed more effectively.

The disintegration of manly dignity may may be attributed to different factors. Mostly, it's accidental in nature, sometimes it's consciously self-inflicted. The form of disintegration of dignity that I’ll be discussing at length here, is the form which is brought about by “external factors” –That is, other men. Men have different defense mechanisms when they feel that their dignity is being threatened. Some resort to juvenile name calling, some try to defend their dignity by publicly feeding their ego and some just do it the old fashioned way, through brute force. I shall explore these defense mechanisms in greater detail for your education. As is the case with my other articles, this isn’t just senseless blabbering. You’ll actually learn from this article, people, so read on

Wimps such as the one pictured above, naturally lack manly dignity and should not be seen in manly sporting events or anywhere within the sight of the general public

1.) Name calling: In any argument in a civilized setting, verbal callousness is generally frowned upon. If you blatantly call someone “dim-witted” and you have nothing to support your case …and you’re talking to a girl, not only will people think of you as intellectually unsophisticated but probably lacking in breeding as well (see comments on the article atheism vs agnosticism for examples)

Unbeknownst to the common man, there is actually an art to insulting people without making yourself look dumber than the person you’re insulting. Diplomacy can be used as a weapon but it takes skill to wield, young padawan. So read and learn. Indirect attacks powered by wit and sarcasm are the equivalent of a clean jedimaster double lightsaber swoop in the world of higher argumentation. Instead of saying “you’re dumb”, you may say something like: “Your argument formulation and Your propensity for juvenile, invective comments fondly remind me of my arguments with my adorable 5 yr old little brother" .…or something similar. Just make sure that that the words you choose should be such that your adversary won’t understand anything.

Make sure that you posses more wit and charm than your adversary before going this route otherwise, things may horribly backfire. Ego Bruising caused by witty verbal attacks take a lot longer to heal than bruising caused by even the manliest of sucker punches. I mean how many people take on chris rock publicly?

2.) Ego preservation: certain men may feel that they should prioritize defending their ego more than attacking their opponent’s. These men therefore shamelessly feed their ego in public with complements that only make sense to them. Unless you have humor in mind, it is highly inadvisable that you flatter yourself in any serious manly argument.Wait for the other guy to lay the seeds for self-flattery himself. Don’t say “my IQ score happens to be 127”. Wait for him to ask what your IQ is first. Self flattery in a verbal fight can make you look a little pathetic.

to understand the humor, refer to one of my previous articles

3.) Brute force: When a man’s wit just isn’t sufficient to defend his dignity, he usually resorts to measures that are more physical in nature. Like verbal argumentation, physical argumentation should also be done with finesse. The initiator of a fist fight would always be looked upon by the learned crowd as brutish and uncivilized. Therefore you must know how to subtly manipulate things so you’d look like the good guy with a good cause. A good, strongly worded one liner of an opening move delivered in a tone faintly reminiscent of a line in a Shakespearean play may be necessary. “What!? I’m a son of a bitch eh? I will not stand Idly by while you insult the honor of my mother!! I shall now proceed to beat you to a bloody pulp”

One must not engage in a fist fight without knowing the proper fighting form. That is, with both fists up, torso erect and head facing towards the enemy. This is not just so you may fight more effectively but also so you will not look wimpish in front of the growing crowd of gawkers who will obviously cheer for the fighter with the better form. If the brawl isn’t going in your favor, let the crowd step in a little bit. Give them enough room to restrain both you and your adversary ...of course you must protest a little bit “don’t stop me he insulted my mother!!!”

It’s a pitiful sight When a man’s dignity disintegrates before his eyes and he can’t do anything about it. So remember, if the ego is threatened by a competing ego, defense and crafty offense are always necessary. Of course self-inflicted disintegration of manly dignity is slightly harder to correct

ugh!! Dignity disintegrating ….must pretend nothing happened …

manly dignity humor funny

Worst Jobs/video clips of the day

2008-04-21T04:32:00.000-07:00

I am supposed to take my OJT this year. I don't think I will I just can't see myself applying for a job. I can't see myself working for anyone. I'm worried that I might have to seriously maim someone while trying to argue the finer points of respect -ing me

It's just incompatible with my philosophies in life which are: "Employment is like slavery", "Bow to no master", and "world domination is the only way to go". Besides I asked my mentor stewie and he said it was highly inadvisable

I guess I don't mind taking orders from anyone ..as long as they call me sir and they really beg for it, on their knees while making pitiful little noises like little puppies desperately begging for food.

But I'll have to take my OJT at some point and as they say, to appreciate whatever situation you're in, you have to look at people who are in a worse situation. So here's a list of some of the worst jobs on the planet

Roman Catholic Priest: No offense people but to each, his own right? It's bad enough that they have to dedicate their lives to a fruitless, pointless cause, that they have to be goody-two-shoes-y all the time and that they have to talk latin while singing while preaching to a crowd of very sleepy people ...It's bad enough that most of them were born as gay, pedophiles ...Why the do they also have to practice abstinence for the rest of their miserable lives? that is just inhumane, people!!! The average male shouldn't be able to last more than a month without ejaculating. You're gonna turn these people into rapists

Years of dedication to Catholic doctrine gave father Mateo a permanent boner which accidentally impregnated sister dorotea

Flyer people: You know those people you see in malls handing out flyers? Some of them look relatively presentable, like they were well-schooled and yet people from various walks of life treat them like they're scum of the earth. I pass by these people regularly and let's just say that the average alcoholic overweight bum gets more respect than them. Pitiful really

Johny gaydude, the slightly effeminate rejection addict, enjoys getting shunned and shooed by random people

Human lab rat: One would wonder as to the underlying motivations of well schooled students who participate in relatively unpleasant extracurricular activities like testing pesticides and harsh chemicals on their faces for relatively paltry sums of money. Maybe they get good incentives from their professors for volunteering or maybe they're animal rights activists campaigning for equal rights for both humans and animals or maybe it's genuine concern for scientific progress. Whatever their reasons may be, you have to give it to these brave souls for giving up their dignity as a human being for the betterment of humanity or the advancement of the cosmetic industry as a whole

Brandon contemplates the future of science, animal rights and the collective welfare of mankind while submerged in a pool of highly cancerous pesticides

Elephant masturbator: No I'm not inventing this people. This is an actual occupation for some very luck-deficient people. This is how they make baby elephants at the zoo, in case you haven't heard. Yes it's a highly emasculating job that may be a little hard to describe to people without them laughing. "The elephant masurbator stands on a stool behind the elephant and shoves his entire arm DEEP into the animal's ass until he reaches the prostate, which he procedes to massage vigorously until the elephant ejaculates all over the place. It's all collected in a bucket."

Shawn-the- illiterate-boy's dorky smile soon gets wiped off his face as soon as he realized elephants only have one trunk and they go at the front

Flatulence analyst: The scientific nature of the job means you're spared from what would otherwise be the very literal and colorful description, Fart smeller, which is a potentially life scarring designation. He can also poke shots at the elephant masturbator who didn't get the privilege of getting a rosier title. The flatulence analyst gets to sample various odors from various people with various gastroenterological dilemmas that make their gaseous emissions smell like anything from moldy pumpkins to gasoline. With enough training, the flatulence analyst should be able to diagnose with a fair degree of accuracy the problem of the owner of the ass from which the flatulence came. Why buy a million dollar diagnostic machine if you can hire a strapped for cash lad to do the dirty work for a very cheap sum?

Yup methane is combustive

marketing useless products

2008-04-21T04:30:00.000-07:00

To succeed in this business it really helps to have good marketing skills. You have to make people buy stuff that they wouldn’t normally buy. I consider myself well endowed in the realm of marketing. A lot of my buyers can attest to that.

I will now demonstrate my marketing prowess

Product#1:

We’ve all experienced it -Neck strain when riding the MRT. Introducing the fashionably upright MRT-or-LRT-chin-tripod. No longer do you have to look foolish popping your neck vertebrae because of neck strain. The MRT-or-LRT-chin tripod fully supports heads of up to 50lbs and the harness is adjustable so melonheads of various dimensions can be accommodated. As pictured above, it’s very inconspicuous and it doesn’t make you look like a Halloween artifact at all. It’s also very fashionable- I mean why else would that obviously very fashion conscious woman be using it.

Product #2

The most effective non-surgical, non-pharmaceutical solution to people suffering from rhinitis and chronic colds, Introducing the Decolgen-no-more-head-mounted tissue roll. It comes in the very attractive color of blue green with a very purty white base and neck strap. The sight of greenish goo oozing from your nostrils can eat away at your dignity. So buy the Decolgen-no-more-head-mounted tissue roll now to save whatever shred of human dignity you have left

Product #3

For instant noodles with a capital “I”, look nowhere else than the Noodles-instamatic-chopsticks-with-a-fan-thingamajig. Comes in various colors to suit your mood or the flavor of your noodles. coming soon: the “Noodles-instamatic-spoon-and-fork-with-a-fan-thingamajig” For people with less chinky eyes …batteries sold separately

Product #4

Tired of bringing an umbrella to a perfectly sunny day? Tired of misleading weather reports? Introducing the rain-anywhere-red-umbrella 2000 guaranteed to make carrying an umbrella always worth your while and checking weather reports a thing of the past…Are further words really necessary? Just look at the pic and marvel at how convenient it is

Product #6

Insecto-phobic? Scared of killing a cockroach with your slippers because you don’t want to be less than 5 feet from the gory sight of its entrails? Here’s the product just for you. The Slippers-with-a-5-foot-handle-cockroach-killer-for-insecto-phobics. For those days when a 10 foot broomstick just isn’t available

Product #7

From the same people who brought you the MRT-or-LRT-chin-tripod comes the MRT-or-LRT-toilet bowl-pump-portable handle. If you ever find yourself in a precarious area in the MRT where there are no handles in reach, just reach for the very handy MRT-LRT-toilet bowl-pump-portable handle and you have an instant handle anywhere you are. You may even find that people would start giving you space –slowly moving away from you as they gaze in awe of this very ingenious contraption and its obviously very smart owner

And finally i just have to get this in

Product #8

Do you have strong socio-phobic tendencies? Does the sight of attractive girls scare you?

Introducing the balls-of-steel-prosthetic gonads! Now you can finally go after the girl of your dreams with one of those androgynous sounding names like casey, dominique, sidney or Jaycee.Guaranteed to make you spout smooth one liners one after the other without hesitation

People who want to advertise in my blog can benefit from my very effective marketing style for a very “paltry” sum.

The gentleman's guide to the MRT/LRT

2008-04-21T03:57:00.000-07:00

This article was also published at the man blog

I know many of you have wondered at some point in your life “What is the unwritten code by which gentlemen regulate their conduct in the MRT and LRT” After reading some entries in some blogs which were apparently written by 12 year old kids who haven’t got the slightest clue about gentlemanly conduct, I thought it’s about time to hear things from a gentleman’s point of view

For the uninitiated, there are currently 3 railway transits in metro manila. MRT runs along edsa and is usually the most packed. LRT2 is the most recent, the most spacious and most aesthetically pleasing (in terms of the actual infrastructure and the people who patronize it) LRT would be the least aesthetically pleasing (in the same sense as above)

Without further ado I shall now present to you the bushido of gentlemen riding the MRT

On conspicuous odors
The ambience in the MRT can be quite odiferous especially in the latter part of the day. You may find yourself savoring the very rich scent of the very fine gentleman standing a few inches from you. Gentlemanly protocol forbids you to make rude gestures or noises alerting him of the scent that emanates from his hairier regions. I believe the most polite and prudent action would be to give him a complement. Something like “Excuse me sir! I like that fragrance you’re wearing. Is that vinegar-scent?” I will illustrate the effectiveness of this approach with the picture below

As exemplified by the image above, this approach will always lead to a cordial exchange of pleasanries

On giving seats

Social protocol demands that everyone should give seats to the elderly and the physically disabled and that men should give their seats to women in addition to the aforementioned groups of people

I consider myself a strict follower of these protocols. I almost always give my seat to the elderly or any aesthetically gifted member of the female sex …and the not so aesthetically gifted sometimes. But there are times when the desire to follow protocol is outweighed by the desire to keep your seat. The most common approach to this dilemma is to feign sleeping

Sometimes though, there can be protests and they can be quite verbal and more than sufficiently audible. There was a time once when I was quite exhausted and didn’t feel like giving my seat to the very well built and compact woman standing in front of me right away (I would’ve given her the seat in a few mins) She started very eloquently spouting words that seemed conspicuously targeted towards me like: “I do that too. Sometimes I also PRETEND that I’m asleep” If such a case should occur, you should hold on to your seat even more.

Reason #1: if you gave her your seat, that would highlight the fact that you were never asleep in the first place since you heard her.

Reason #2: Impolite women do not deserve a gentleman’s seat anyway. Seats should be given freely not demanded.

The most prudent course of action would be to pretend you’re asleep until you’re near your destination. At which point, you should act like you were suddenly awoken by your phone vibrating. Immediately scan the surrounding area for a female who is more deserving of the seat. -offer her the seat. Stand up, lightly brush your shoulder against that of the less than courteous woman and Proceed to depart from the train.

On segragation

Many a gentleman would scoff at the segregation scheme that they’ve recently implemented at the MRT and LRT1. Some of them are mildly irritated by the fact that the first cars where the ladies are situated are quite vacuous. while gentlemen are forced to less than comfortably cram themselves in the following cars

^the exclusive for girls first car

^A rough estimate of the conditions in the following cars

Some of the more hormonally active of us gents can be seen scratching their heads and looking at the people around them, confused. Almost unintelligibly muttering words like “Who am I supposed to grope now?”

^Isolation from the opposite sex can bring about homosexual tendencies in some men

Unlike them however, I happen to enjoy this new setup. Sure the visuals aren’t nearly as appealing and the odors slightly less than pleasant but should an accident happen I’ll most certainly be glad that I’m not in the first car. I also don’t have to hopelessly compete with ladies for seats anymore. Since there are very few ladies, you are allowed to use methods that are a bit removed from the realm of elocution. The art of physical persuasion can be used to greater effect. A fellow gentleman may be slightly annoyed by this approach. If his protests start to bother you, you may start asking questions about his sexual preference or the size of his member. Should this still fail to settle the argument, your elbow could then be used as a more effective tool for argumentation than your mouth.

Should you ever find yourself in the tabloids for your very gentlemanly conduct, don’t forget to mention that you got your manners from me

tags: manly decorum, MRT, LRT, bushido of manliness

A very tragic love story episode 1

2007-12-31T08:53:00.000-08:00

My pirates of the caribbean 3 video review

2007-06-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

old video review from my other blog